How Does the Absence of Their Father Affect Children?

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“Your father will hear about this when he gets home”. How often does your wife have to say it in a single day? She stopped counting a long time ago, specifically since your toddler transformed into an aggressive child, naughty and disobedient whenever you leave the house.

Does your child kick? Say offensive words? Throw household items in their mother’s face? Not care if they are reprimanded or threatened? Are you wondering why they’re an angel in your presence but aggressive in your absence?

 

  • The essential question here is this: have you and your wife worked to improve the division of child-rearing tasks between you? The answer will provide a diagnosis of your child’s aggressive behaviour and move forward in addressing the situation.
  • Fathers, ask yourselves: are you always lenient with them, no matter what they do? Do you keep spoiling them even when they make a mistake, making their mother, in your absence, look like a disciplinarian and “evil power”?
  • Do you work to balance the pampering and kindness with strictness and firmness, refusing to allow them to paint outside the lines of good behavior and stopping them from rebelling against their mother?
  • Know that extra permissiveness with children and the absence of a deterrent from their father figure can complicate matters.
  • Unless it is the only solution left, avoid both harsh punishment and threats to keep them from one of their hobbies. Instead, say something like, “We’re not playing football today because you haven’t been a good boy in my absence”.
  • Finally, mothers, ask yourselves: do you set aside enough time with them to play and have fun? Or is most of your time together limited to eating, keeping up with their lessons and instructions for hygiene and moderation?
  • Parents, together, are in many ways the conductors of the family orchestra; any false note from them will be met with a scornful melody from their little “angel”.

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