How many times have your little angels made you leave your senses, lose your temper and begin yelling, demanding obedience?
And how many times have you asked yourself: how can I make my children obey?
Here are a few tips for you to decrease the high levels of tension in your home:
- First, master yourself at all costs, because yelling is rarely beneficial and will only put you into an angry state, making you seem to have lost control in front of your children.
- Stop with the accusatory tone you always use to call them out on their bad behaviour, like “You throw your stuff everywhere”, “You put your feet on the couch”. Instead, exchange it for a gentler tone, like “I don’t like to see your stuff scattered on the floor” and “I would prefer it if you didn’t put your shoes on the couch”. In this way your child will not feel hostility in your tone but will feel that you trust them and their ability to behave well.
- Put clear rules of conduct in place to avoid confusing them by constantly changing the rules. For example: set a fixed time for lunch and tell them “Get ready, we’re eating in ten minutes”, instead of repeating five times “Stop playing and come eat”. Explain to them that breaking the rules you agreed upon will result in punishment.
- Train yourself to raise your tone of voice gradually, never getting to the level of screaming, so that they will understand that you are firm in what you are asking.
Keep some softness in your voice, however, especially when you are scolding one of them about some wrong he committed. For example, “Thank you for going back and tidying your room like I asked this morning”, instead of “How many times have I asked you to tidy your room, and you still haven’t done it!” - Always leave space for simple discussion about mistakes or particular shortcomings, so that your child understands your point of view without feeling as though he is “always being blamed”.
It is important, always, to arrive together at a solution to a problem; they should not feel that they are being forced to follow directions at all costs.